Monday, 19 January 2015

Tel Aviv to Bangkok to Sydney to Brisbane and HOME!


Four airports in one day again! Argh! My first flight was with El Al to Bangkok in a 777. I thought I’d chosen an exit row but apparently not. The steward said the seat I had was better, but I didn’t see how. It was up the front of economy and on the aisle, but I was surrounded by a group of loud-mouthed Israeli youths travelling to Thailand for a month. The reason I knew they were loud-mouthed was I had been lined up near them at security. They all had brand new passports and were obviously excited. I had two beside me, one across the aisle and two behind me, so the conversation flowed all over me. Great! I was hoping to sleep.

Dinner was served-balls of something and couscous, pickled salad and dry cake. I ate the balls and drank an orange juice. The only alcohol they have is red wine, and I’m still not up to it. The “entertainment” was terrible. Bot only were none of the movies listed on the correct channels, the screen was microscopic, and the sound almost inaudible even on maximum. I watched Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day then amazingly fell asleep. I must have been sound asleep because I was dreaming and someone in my dream was saying “excuse me”. It was the guys wanting to get out! I then watched a movie with Jason Bateman called The Longest Week, which would have to be one of the most boring, pointless movies I’ve ever sat through. I kept watching thinking something exciting must happen soon. This flight was never ending.  I estimated it should be about 6 hours, but in fact was 10 and a half! When I looked at the flight screen, I found out why. We had flown all the way down the Red Sea and over the Indian Ocean, across the southern tip of India, before coming up to Bangkok. We hadn’t flown over any countries at all! Finally breakfast was served- an omelette, olives and cherry tomatoes were all I ate. The yoghurt was inedible! Nothing was served in between, not an ice-cream or an apple or anything, and there was no self-service bar. I won’t be flying El Al again by choice. Almost four hours at Bangkok before I board my Qantas flight back to Australia.

Well, I saved the best until last! BUSINESS CLASS, BABY! Of course I didn’t pay for it!  It was heaven in the air! I’m even considering paying for it next trip, but $9,000 return is a lot of money, but wow! Comfortable, noise-reducing headphones, a butler to be shared with 3 other passengers, who treated me like royalty, Billiecart champagne on boarding the plane, which continued to flow until dinner, which was cooked for each passenger! I had zucchini and parmesan soup, followed by grilled atlantic salmon. Several desserts to choose from- but I reclined my seat into a bed and was asleep before dessert. And, ah the bliss! I can’t explain just how different this was from economy! I wanted to take photos but thought that would seem rather gauche, so just lay back and lapped it up. The long flight was over in no time- I never looked at the flight map once- when in economy, I’m checking it every five minutes to see how much longer I have to survive until our flight reaches its destination.

Reluctantly, I disembarked at Sydney, checked into an earlier flight, and prepared to pay $60 for excess luggage. But, aha, when I mentioned I had flown business class in from Bangkok, I was allowed the whole 30kgs free of charge!

In the bus and over to domestic wher I tried to board a plane to Melbourne! Luckily the scanner picked it up as the wrong flight. In my defence, the gates were right beside each other and the boarding times were 5 minutes apart, and I was keen to get home!

I sat down with my backpack on to wait the extra 5 minutes, but when I tried to get up, I just couldn’t manage it, and ended up spread-eagled and laughing on the floor! Those seats were much lower than I expected. I rolled out of my backpack and managed to regain my feet. I am beyond embarrassment! I lined up and boarded the 737 for my last flight home. From riches to rags, I was stuck in between two large people. (I can talk!) After a white chocolate and cranberry cookie and a cup of tea, my right leg started to cramp right up to my hip so I had to get out of that seat! The hostess made me up a lucozade drink to try to dissipate the cramp, and I sat further back in the plane with a little more legroom.

Off the plane and into the oppressive heat, grabbed my suitcase from the carousel, and was just starting to panic when I spied Ross, who was here to pick me up. I am so happy to be home. So, until my next adventure, farewell, au revoir, adieus, adios, arrivederci, and auf wiedersehen.

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