What the...?

After a very relaxing day in the therme, we came back to our beautiful cabin to eat the last of our tuna and cheese sandwiches.  At least we had a bottle of red to drink with them! I opened the bottle, and the room was filled with an indescribable smell. Undaunted, I poured two glasses and said to Keeley it might need to breathe.  I won’t repeat what she said.

After letting it “breathe” and opening our door so we could breathe, I tasted it, and immediately spat it out! Those of you who know me know it has to be pretty bad for me not to drink it, so we ended up having the last of the Baileys- one less bottle to carry down to the car tomorrow.

We woke up at 7am, determined to make the most of the spa, and headed up for one last soak. We thought we’d be the only ones there at 7 (it was still dark), but the place was packed! Back to our room to pack (yuk!) and head off. Keeley took everything down to the car while I went to check out at the café. Checking out was just a matter of handing the key back, or so I thought, as I had paid for the room back in March and we hadn’t had any extras. Well apparently, they only took my credit card but didn’t charge it ( going to check this when I get home, because I was sure I had paid!) They had also charged me for two breakfasts on two mornings and I explained that we hadn’t eaten breakfast at all. Breakfast was $30 pp, so we had brought our own cereal and croissants from France to avoid this extra expense. While he was sorting it out, I went to the toilet. No sooner did I sit down than a spider came wandering under the door. My scarf was hanging down, so had the vision of the spider getting on my scarf without my knowledge, then crawling onto me at some stage of our journey, me screaming and Keeley crashing off the road. Yes, all this in the few seconds before I decided to crush it.  Do I have an overactive imagination or am I just crazy? No need to answer!

Back to the counter only to find my Amex didn’t work! Argghhh! Finally got it sorted, and off we went.  We wanted to go to Neushwanstein Castle in Germany, so put Fussen, the nearest village into the GPS, as it didn’t recognize Neushwanstein.  We had a lovely drive going through some villages but no big cities. We thought we’d go through Vaduz, but if we did, we didn’t recognize it. (I was looking for the castle on the hill.) Finally got on a highway and thought we must have crossed the border into Germany. We had seen something that looked like a border or toll booth but there was nowhere to put a credit card so thought we might have to do it at the end. (Some toll booths in France were like this.) We saw no sign telling us this was Austria and that we had to buy a “vignette” from a service station on the Swiss side for 8 euro. I’ve never even heard the word “vignette” before today. Now I can tell you everything you need to know about them!

But back to the saga! We came across a roadblock where police were pulling cars over, and waving some through, just like a RBT. We weren’t worried. We hadn’t been drinking. A policeman came up to the car and rattled something off in German, and Keeley said English? To which he replied driving licence and rental car documents? I dug them out of the glovebox and handed them to him. He then asked for another document- green in colour- which I eventually found in the depths of the glovebox. He tells us we have to have an 8 euro sticker on our car which we had to buy at a petrol station, so Keeley asks him where the nearest petrol station is to which he replies, “Get out of the car!” which we did immediately. He then takes us to a van parked in front of us, where there is a guy sitting at a desk taking money from travellers like us. There were at least 3 vans like this and they were doing a roaring trade. The penalty was 120 euro. I was in shock. I couldn’t believe we had to pay 120 euro for something we had no knowledge of. He said there was a big sign at the border in English telling us all this, but as Keeley said, she was so concerned with staying on the right, not crashing, and not getting lost, she only saw the stop sign. And we were looking for a credit card slot! Wouldn’t you think they’d have a machine at the border were you pay your 8 euro? No, you have to buy it from a SERVICE STATION!!!! Who knew? Certainly not us, nor the other dozen cars they had pulled up while we were there.

We continued on our way crossing into Germany although we didn’t see anything saying we were crossing into Germany either. Luckily, Germany doesn’t have this vignette system. We actually haven’t seen any signs saying which country we were in, and have just had to guess by the names of the towns although my geography in this area isn’t brilliant. We drove on to Neushwanstein enjoying the 120 euro view. When I checked the maps, I found out we had actually only travelled 26.9km of Austrian road. Oh, it’s a money making venture all right! The irony of us saving money in Switzerland by not eating struck us, and we started laughing. Why hadn’t anyone told us about this? We knew about tolls, we didn’t know about “vignettes”. Anyway after paying 120 euro, we STILL have to find somewhere to buy a vignette for the rest of our stay in Austria, and THEN we have to buy one for Hungary, and then we have to buy one for Slovenia. Keeley also found out we were supposed to have one for Switzerland as well, and could be up for a $250 A fine. Just great!

After finally reaching Neushwanstein Castle at 1pm, and paying the parking attendant 5 euro, we hopped out of the car to freezing conditions. It was 4C. Brrr! We walked up to the ticket office to get tickets for the castle. Not only was there a 20 minute wait to buy a ticket, the first available tour was at 3.40pm. We couldn’t wait that long as we wanted to get to Langenfeld before dark, which we did, which was very lucky as we drove round the streets looking for our B&B. There were dozens of them, Margret, Markus, Mrak, but no Martha. We finally found it, only to find no one was answering the doorbell! Of course, no one was home! Why did I expect anything different? After calling their mobile and no one answering, we decided to find somewhere to have something hot to eat.

We drove down to the village and parked outside a restaurant. You guessed it- it was shut, walked a bit further and found a pub, it was closed also! Everything was shut! We asked a couple of old men who didn’t speak ANY English where could we find something to eat, and they pointed in the other direction to what we were walking. Of course we were walking the wrong way! We got back to our car and drove up to where we saw three eating places open. Keeley chose the most expensive looking one. We had eaten nothing all day, and hadn’t had anything hot for 4 days, so were craving hot food! It was called Pizzeria Piazza, so pizza it was! Delicious garlic bread followed by mouth-watering pizza washed down with a carafe of the house red, all for 34 euro! Best meal we’ve had since Bath! We’re going back there tonight!

With our bellies full, we returned to our B&B. Hooray- there were lights on! We rang the doorbell several times before a woman answered the door. She looked perplexed. I said my name and we had booked for 2 nights. She had forgotten we were coming! She was very friendly though and asked us in. She gave us both coffee while she made up our room. We are the only ones here! Because of our patience, she upgraded us to a beautiful top floor apartment, so all’s well that ends well. But as I always say, you can’t have everything, and the only place I can get wifi on my phone is in the stairwell. However, I can get wifi on my laptop if I sit on the end of the bed. What a day!

Therme Vals, Switzerland

Well, here I am sprawled out on a chaise longue in the spa, overlooking the most magnificent view. Words cannot describe the majestic snow-capped peaks, covered with firs right up to the treeline. Even my photos don’t do it justice. It’s a bright blue sky with fluffy white clouds scudding past from time to time. We are alive! We are happy! After yesterday’s trauma, we deserve it!

We started off VERY early from Marckolsheim (7.45am!) and drove uneventfully to Colmar, where Keeley was determined to find the “pretty village” part. It’s now a big industrial town so that wasn’t as easy as you might think. I opted to stay in the car and eat breakfast- delicious Fruit and Fibre cereal from Lidl, which I discovered in London last trip, followed by a raisin pastry, and a glass of pure apple juice.

Keeley returned from her mission with some good photos but didn’t find the “little Venice” she was looking for! After having her breakfast, we started off towards Switzerland. I had done the google maps from Marckolsheim, but the GPS was taking us a different, “shorter” way.

The trip was uneventful until we reached Zurich. We were supposed to bypass it according to google maps (I found this out later), but the bloody GPS took us right through the centre of the city! I started to feel a bit panicky when I saw trams! Yes, you guessed it- I HATE trams! Even more than I hate buses and trucks and cyclists and pedestrians! I would NEVER, EVER drive in Melbourne! But I remained calm for Keeley’s sake, and tried to concentrate on getting us out of the city and back on the highway. All went well, until I told Keeley to do a left turn one street too soon. I realized immediately it was the wrong street, not only was it the wrong street- it was a TRAM only street, and we were driving ON the tramline. There was NO lane for cars! People were gesticulating at us but there was nothing we could do! We were the only car in the whole street! Trams were passing us inches away (on the other line) and I was crying pleading with Keeley to please get off. I didn’t even care if she had to drive on the footpath! Finally she pulled into a side street where our trusty GPS says it doesn’t recognize the area! I begged Keeley to stop for a while, so I could recover from my severe panic attack, but no, she resets the GPS, and drives back into the traffic. Her plan was to get behind a car so at least we knew we weren’t on a tram-only street and that we were not driving down a one-way street. Her plan worked for one block until all the cars in front of us got through the green light, but we had to stop. (There were trams waiting at this intersection as well!) I had seen where the car that had been in front of us had gone and we took that path, and finally made it out to the highway. So, this experience tops the list. I was the most terrified for the longest period. All of my other bad experiences may have been paranoia, (what are the chances of the Eiffel Tower lift crashing to the ground?) but this was a very real scary experience! I also woke up with the feeling that I had used up all my lives, and my guardian angel had deserted me, but obviously she hasn’t. I say she, because a male guardian angel would have given up on me by now!

The rest of the drive was beautiful, if a little scary, driving on narrow mountain roads. Of course I am sitting on the cliff side, Keeley joking all the way, saying what would happen if we crashed off now? She has such a morbid sense of humour. She doesn’t get that from me! But I remained calm all the way to Vals.

When we arrived, we couldn’t find the hotel, even though it’s the only big building in the whole town! In our defence, there is not a single identifying sign. My expectations of our room here were a small room in a demountable building with shared lockers. In fact, our room on the second top floor was like a big cabin on a ship with two bunks, and an extra one built into the wall, with its own balcony with a spectacular view, small kitchenette with fridge and stove, and a separate bathroom. We also had a desk, a small table and two chairs. On the balcony was a table with two more chairs! There was enough cupboard space for a dozen people, with cupboards built in right up to the ceiling, like a motorhome. You could stock up and hibernate here for the winter! Each of the beds has its own shelf the length of the bed, plus each of the beds had back cushions so you could use them as lounges. And the piece de resistance?  The beds were sooo comfy and both had huge feather doonas. Keeley was so happy to have her own bed. I must admit sharing a futon in Marckolsheim was a bit squishy.

Well, I’m back into the mineral spa! What temperature should I choose? There’s a cold one at 14C- no thanks! I like the 42C one, but I can’t stay in there too long. The outdoor bath is perfect at 37- beautiful to swim in, or just float and soak in the peacefulness of the scenery as well as the health-giving benefits of the water.

We’re off to Austria tomorrow, with whistle stops at Vaduz and Neuschwanstein Castles.

Death and near death…

Yes, I am a little dramatic. Also I am combining two days into one blog- too tired to write being my only excuse. We started off a leisurely Friday with the only plan being to do the night bike ride tour at 6pm. By 1pm, we were both bored so decided to get our sandwiches and go for a picnic. The nearest patch on green (on the map) just happened to be Pere-Lachaise Cemetery so that’s where we headed. It was only two blocks away so I thought walking shoes weren’t warranted for such a short distance. First mistake. We arrived at the cemetery and sat down on the stone steps to enjoy our picnic. (We had bought beer and olives on the way.)

We were unsure if it’s polite to have a picnic in a cemetery, but we didn’t sit on any graves, although it was tempting. Those stone steps were not comfortable at all. We were smiled upon and frowned upon, so that didn’t enlighten us on cemetery protocol. One woman death-stared Keeley, who told me quite innocently, then realized how funny it was. Then we got the giggles- you can’t take us anywhere!

We climbed up, up, up, till we (should I say I) could climb no more, and we gave up on finding any tombs of note. I wanted to see Oscar Wilde’s tomb but he was miles away! Sorry, Oscar! A kind Facebook friend has posted photos of the graves I wanted to see. Thanks, Vivienne.

My poor toes were protesting so we headed back home. And of course, we became lost. Don’t ask me how! It was two blocks for heaven’s sake! I think we were too busy talking and missed our turn. After walking for what seemed like hours, (Keeley assured me was only minutes), I yelled at her to show me the map on her phone, as I didn’t trust her navigation skills. I probably wouldn’t have yelled if my feet weren’t in so much pain. I didn’t want to walk one inch further than necessary. She stalked off not speaking to me the rest of the way back to our airbnb. (about half an hour, but in reality about 2 minutes) She was really upset I had yelled at her. It shows you how often she’s yelled at that she had such an extreme reaction. Poor Keeley! When we arrived home, she climbed out through our window onto the roof to drink the rest of the beer. She obviously didn’t want to have anything to do with me. It’s my fault she hates confrontation. She did say at some stage that she wished she had let the bus hit me, but she didn’t mean it. (I hope!)  I forgot to mention that I was almost run over by a bus on the way up to the Cemetery. I am pedantic about only crossing when the light turns green, even though everyone else walks when it’s still red, and yet I managed to step out in front of a bus and was pulled back onto the footpath by Keeley. What can I say? I just didn’t see it, or it didn’t register in my brain, or I have a death wish? I have no idea.

Anyway, I couldn’t walk another step so called the Fat Tire Bike Tours to postpone until tomorrow night. I heated up my moussaka for dinner and opened the bottle of red wine that had been waiting for us. Sabine from Bremen joined us for a glass, and we chatted in English. She speaks German, French, English and Spanish and was just in Paris for the weekend. She often comes down just for the weekend! I was complaining about the cost of restaurants in Paris. She advised to always make lunch your main meal. You can usually find a 3 course menu for about €20.

I was really tired, so had a shower, climbed into bed, and was asleep within seconds and didn’t wake up until 6.30am! I had terrible dreams though.

The plan today was not to do too much before our bike tour tonight. So I was going to find the nearest laundromat to do our washing. I asked Maguy which was nearest and she offered to do it all for us! No problem, she said. All part of the service! I felt so bad I thought I’d better make good use of the day and go out to see the sights of Paris.

First, we headed to l’Arc de Triomphe with the plan of climbing to the top. We hopped out of the metro, and found a little café to use the toilet. I’m not sure if Paris is like Rome, but thought we’d better buy a coffee. Of course, it was expensive, but probably the best €4.50 I’d ever spent! We walked around the perimeter trying to find a crossing. There was no way we were going to walk across all that traffic! Of course, there was no crossing- we had walked right past the subway. In our defence, the sign was completely obliterated by stickers and graffiti. Some Parisians must have fun watching people like us walk round and round!

We finally reached it by which time I needed to go to the toilet again- the catch 22 of going to a coffee shop to use the toilet and buying a coffee at the same time! We saw the lineup to buy tickets and decided we’d give the top a miss, and just take some photos on the ground. We made our way back to the same café (a feat in itself given our navigational skills) and used their toilets again-without buying another coffee! Keeley wanted to see Notre Dame so we hopped on the metro and headed there.

On the way, I saw that the metro stopped at Le Marais (Saint-Paul). I had heard so much about Le Marais, I decided to check it out. There was a great variety of shops there, with some gorgeous Christmas stuff, all of which we managed to resist buying. We found a café with 3 courses for €21, so thought we’d try it since we weren’t going to have dinner before our bike tour.  It was disappointing to say the least. The turkey foie gras was straight out of the turkey, the steak and chips were just that; the chips were overcooked and the steak was tough, and they had run out of tiramisu (my first choice) and raspberry tarts (my second) so I had to settle for chocolate cake which I gave to Keeley. I ordered a red wine and Keeley ordered a French beer. The wine was ok for €2.50, but she didn’t like the beer and it cost €8.50! Not what I would call a really cheap lunch: €46!

Back on the metro to Notre Dame. Her app said to get of at Saint-Mande which we did. We saw a sign to the Les Jardins Zoologique,( the zoo), but no signs to Notre Dame. I carefully mentioned to Keeley I would check my map before I walked any further- I didn’t want a repeat of yesterday- and it turned out her app had given her the wrong Notre Dame! I suppose there must be dozens of them since it actually means Our Lady!

Back on the metro to Dupleix, where our bike tour was to start. We were a couple of hours early, but thought we’d sit down in the Bistro opposite the station and wait. It was happy hour so we ordered Mojitos for €6, the only cocktail that was included in happy hour. At 5.45pm, we wandered out and found our tour guide, Carlos, who had just set up on the corner. We thought we’d be first but everyone arrived together. We walked up to the office and chose our bikes. Keeley chose Chandler Bing (the funny one- quite apt) and I wound up with Ayrton Senna. Half way through the tour and after hitting the gutter and crashing into a drainpipe, I explained to Keeley that Ayrton Senna was a champion racecar driver who died in a car crash. Of course, she could not stop laughing.

You know how much I enjoyed the bike tour in London? This was the tour from HELL!  No nice quiet bike rides through parks and along the bike paths bordering the Seine here, no this was STAY AS A GROUP AND DOMINATE! (the traffic) Yes we rode in front of traffic, buses, cars, motorbikes, the lot! To say I was terrified would be an understatement. Did I see any of the wonderful Parisian landmarks? Did I hear any of the fascinating history? Of course not! I was so far behind, so scared and so exhausted I didn’t give a rat’s arse about Parisian history!

Keeley offered to be co-captain of the group- her job was to stay last and keep the group together- basically her job was to look after me. They did give her a T-shirt as a thank-you for doing it. She kept saying, “calm and assertive”, something she’s learned from dog-training. I was anything but!

In a twist of fate, she was the one who had the worst accident. In her effort to look after me, she didn’t look after herself and was rammed by a Parisian cyclist in the middle of a busy road. He was all dressed in black with no lights- I didn’t even see him at all- only heard her scream and his abuse at her in French, and her saying ”sorry, sorry”. He was the one in the wrong- she had lights and an orange hi-vis vest on and was at the end of the entire group dressed in hi-vis vests! It really put the wind up her, and I think she lost a little of her bravado. There were no more “calm and assertives”.

The next accident was my riding into a bus: this was definitely the bus I avoided yesterday! Luckily the bus was stationary and the only damage I sustained was to my elbow. I was riding past a stationary bus when another bus overtook me. I was squeezed between two buses. Best to hit the stationary one I figured! Keeley was behind me and thought I’d lose my balance when I hit the bus and fall under the moving bus. She thinks I must be a pretty good bike rider to avoid that happening. (I did have years of experience as a teenager riding my bike to and from school every day as well as riding to the shop on errands for Mum, and basically riding anywhere I wanted to go. It was my only means of transport.) She was so worried about my falling under the bus that she laughed until she cried. She thinks laughing is her coping mechanism. I think crying is mine!

FINALLY, we get to the boat cruise on the Seine. The part I was looking forward to most. Even a couple of glasses of red wine didn’t cheer me up. All I wanted to do was go home to bed. I just stiffened up on the cruise, so much so that I couldn’t even get on the bike without someone holding it for me. My knees were knackered. We rode to the Eiffel Tower and saw the light display at 10pm before heading back to the office. I’ve never been so pleased to see anything in my entire life. The tour guide hugged me- it was his last night before heading back to the States- I think he was happy I survived- he probably has a spotless record- and gave Keeley her T-shirt. Good job!

We trudged back to Dupleix and caught one metro to Nation, then another home to Charonne. In bed by 11 and didn’t wake up till 9am.  Keeley is off on the day tour, which is probably the one I should have done. It has a difficulty rating of 2; the night tour is 5! I wish I’d known that before last night. I hope my legs recover before Lake Como! I rode 13 kilometres last night with only two collisions, and a few near misses with pedestrians. In hindsight, I’m quite proud. The other riders were all in their twenties, and are probably all up and exploring Paris this morning. I am going to get up soon and try to walk to the shower down the hall!

Versailles et la Tour Eiffel

That’s the last French you’ll hear from me today. I had booked Versailles online for our first day in Paris as I’ve wanted to visit it since I was a teenager, and didn’t want to miss it again!

I was awake early (4am), but didn’t get out of bed till 8am- breakkie time! Maguy had prepared us a delicious breakfast of fresh baguettes from her favourite boulangerie, with real butter, three Bonne Maman jams, honey as well as juice and coffee- what more could an exhausted traveller want?

After breakfast, we started to head off to Versailles, but didn’t have a clue where we were going so asked Maguy, who wrote down exactly how to get there. First we walked down to our nearest Metro station, Charonne and bought a book of ten tickets for €13.70, and caught the metro to Alma-Marceau. I actually asked for two books (in French) so obviously my French is not up to scratch! We had to change here and take the RER to Versailles. What she didn’t tell us was when we emerged from the Metro, we would be right across the river from the Eiffel Tower! What a wonderful surprise! The top of the tower was shrouded in cloud but it was still beautiful. We found a board with a map and found the RER was across the river, so off we went across le Pont de l’Alma to the station and bought tickets to Versailles. €3.45 one way! Bargain!

A while later, no idea how long, we pulled into Versailles Rive Gauche station and followed the sings to Versailles. First impression: disappointment.  It was nothing like I had imagined it to be! Nevertheless, we continued up to the gate all the while being hassled by guys selling crappy Eiffel tower key-rings, scarves, etc who wouldn’t take no for an answer. Not a good introduction to Versailles!

Everything was being put through the scanner, except they saw my stick and waved me straight through.  Obviously, the old and decrepit cannot possibly be terrorists.

We wandered through the Royal Apartments, and the Hall of Mirrors before having a bite to eat and heading out to the gardens, all of which left me unimpressed. Have I seen too many palaces lately? Yes, it was huge and decadently royal, but I wouldn’t want to live here even if I were a queen! Maybe it’s all about expectations. I’m always telling myself not to have high expectations and you’ll never be disappointed. Since I was a teenager, I had very high expectations of Versailles and consequently suffered huge disappointment.

Lunch at the Café d’Orleans was equally disappointing. It was the cheaper option of the two eateries, Angelina Restaurant looked posh and expensive. Keeley ordered a donut for €2.50, the cheapest thing in the cabinet, and judged it the worst donut she had ever eaten, including the stale ones I used to get reduced at Coles! It must have been bad.  Pies were also on offer for €9.90, obviously for British visitors! An American sat down beside us with two donuts. We didn’t wait till he bit into them- we were outta there!

The gardens- oh my- how do I begin to describe the smell? What’s the worst smell you can imagine? Pure unadulterated cat piss! It wasn’t just me. Keeley wrapped her scarf over her nose and breathed through her mouth, but couldn’t escape the all-pervading odour. I am sick now just thinking of it. No one else seemed to be suffering so we must both have an acute sense of smell and recognize cat pee when we smell it. Anyway, enough negativity. Oh, not quite. On our way, back to the station, we called into Macca’s as they had a huge sign outside saying wifi now available here, and we thought we’d have a coffee and check in. Keeley ordered the coffees. I got not one, but two espressos, neither of which I could drink. Keeley drank her hot chocolate, which was supposed to be iced chocolate, after asking for wifi. I’d love to repeat her conversation asking for wifi, but it left us both in hysterics- the upshot of it being there WAS no wifi!

Keeley picked up a Paris map from the Bureau de Tourisme, and read it on the train home. We decided we might as well stop off at the Eiffel Tower since it was only 3.30pm.  We hopped off the train just before the Eiffel Tower, tried out a free automatic toilet, and lined up to wait for the lift to the top. And wait we did- for over two hours! My feet started to get cold, and finally went numb. I was alternately leaning on my stick, and running on the spot. Keeley stood a little distance away- I don’t blame her!

At long last, it was our turn to enter the lift. Now, those who know me, will know I don’t like lifts, chairlifts, cable cars, or funiculars of any sort and this was no exception. I HAD to do it though, as there was no way I could walk up those stairs in the freezing cold and pitch black!

It was totally terrifying and Keeley’s monologue didn’t help at all. I got close, but I didn’t cry. At last we reached the first platform, obly to have to get in another lift, more terrifying than the first. This one went straight up! 78 seconds of hell, it was all I could do to not scream! I am so brave! I wanted to buy a T-shirt saying I made it to the top of the Eiffel Tower!

Amazing view from the top, which I looked at for a few seconds, walked around the platform, was sure I could feel it swaying, before wanting to put my feet on terra firma.

So down, down, down we went. This time I just closed my eyes. Bugger the view! Totally exhausted both physically and emotionally by this time, we trudged back to the Metro via the David Ben Gurion Esplanade, a lovely walking bridge across the Seine.

And what do you know? To end a perfect day, the Metro was chock-a block. We couldn’t even squeeze onto the first one, and waited for another, which was no better, but managed to hop on, and squeeze our bodies out of the way of the closing doors.

We found our way back to our airbnb even though we both thought it was in the opposite direction, went straight to the supermarket to buy dinner: mac and cheese for me, tortellini for Keeley.  We bought a bottle of wine, but neither of us had the energy to take the cork out! We had pineapple juice with dinner instead. Not the best day, all in all, but if you asked me if I enjoyed Paris more than I did last time, my answer would be an emphatic yes!

Plane to Paris...

Up early, again, to fly to Paris.  Breakfasted on the last of our delicious cereal, milk, and raisin toast.  As we are leaving, Phil casually asked how are we getting to Heathrow. I thought he was going to offer to drive us! I said just tube to Kings Cross, then tube to Heathrow as we had plenty of time. Oh no, first hiccough of the day. The tube is out between Kings Cross and Hammersmith! Alternate plan is to tube it to Paddington, then train it to Heathrow. It was much more expensive, even though we caught the slow train and not the Heathrow Express.  At least the train had space to put our luggage! We had to get off at terminal 1,2,3 and wait for the next train to Terminal 4. Weird, I know. We met an English lady who was also waiting for the next train. She was travelling to Denver, Colorado for an education conference. Of course I asked her what branch of education and she replied something like, “dissecting cadavers.” She said she’s never quite sure to tell people what she does or not. She’s still single! :-)

We finally get to the terminal and check in with a woman who woke up on the wrong side of the bed. I had to get my ticket home from Tel Aviv out of my suitcase to show her even though I said I was not coming back to Heathrow at all. Anyway, I was pleased I didn’t have to pay excess baggage as we’d only paid for the minimum amount.

Poor Keeley was so pleased to get rid of that suitcase! She’s been toting it and her two backpacks around all morning even though I said I was fine with it. If a gentleman offers to take it down/up stairs, I gladly take him up on the offer, but Keeley determinedly says no thanks. Oh, she’ll learn!  Her backpack had to go through a special gate called oversize luggage because it had a mini-backpack attached to it. We’ve both brought too much stuff! We can’t wait to get a car!

Finally, to security. I breezed through without even having to take my boots off, but Keeley was pulled aside, blaming me for leaving my nail file in her backpack. I knew I hadn’t, so didn’t know what was causing the problem. He completely emptied her backpack, then inserting a blue wand to wipe around the inside of each compartment. Talk about thorough! Finally found the source of the aggravation. The presents she had bought Carl from the Harry Potter tour. Not allowed to give any more details on the off-chance Carl reads this, which of course he won’t. But I’ve been caught out before! ;-)

Keeley bought more presents at the Cath Kidston store before we boarded the very quick flight to Charles de Gaulle. Just had time for a pack of crackers and a white wine!

On arrival in Paris, Keeley sent me to ask how much the train was into Gare du Nord. She will never let me forget there was an information booth metres away, which obviously I didn’t see, as I walked at least a kilometre to the station to ask.  I trudged back to her, only to be put through the third degree, “where the hell did you go to?" The information is here and pointed to it. OMG I nearly died. The train was €10 each, and if we were to catch the train I’d have to walk back another kilometre to the station. Keeley was begging me to take a cab so I agreed to ask how much it would cost. She even agreed to pay for it, so I think all of my luggage was getting to be too much for her.

We asked one driver who said €80, to which I replied “Sorry, we can’t afford that!” who immediately dropped his price to 70. “Still too expensive!” and started walking towards the  station. Another driver chased us and said “€60”, to which we agreed. We actually felt sorry for him when we reached our airbnb an hour and a half later. It turns out our airbnb is on the south-eastern side of the city and the airport is to the north so he had to negotiate a lot of traffic even though it was only 3.30pm. We finally arrived at 39 Rue Chanzy (we would NEVER have found it on our own!) and Keeley had to go and draw out €60 in cash for the poor man. Probably the hardest €60 he’s ever earned. I gave him an Australian key-ring as a personal thanks. I’m sure he would have rather had cash! He was from Ghana and has lived in Paris for 10 years, but he hates it here- they all speak French!

Our airbnb looked impressive, two huge glass entry doors with two different codes to enter- very secure. We caught the lift to the first floor and found Maguy’s apartment- well, more like a house. It has four bedrooms, two bathrooms, a huge lounge/office, a separate dining room, a kitchen and a separate laundry- unheard of in Europe. Even the hallways are much wider than average. Our big bedroom is covered with pretty floral wallpaper and has heaps of cupboards. I could live here permanently!  There are two bedside tables, a dresser and an old Singer treadle sewing machine. It’s years since I’ve seen one of these, and it’s in perfect condition.

Maguy offered us a glass of cold water and welcomed us to her home. She had brochures and books on Paris on the dining table, and advised us if we wanted to know anything, just ask. She was the complete opposite of our London hosts. We felt completely at home within minutes of our arrival!

It was getting late and we were hungry so we asked Maguy directions to the nearest supermarket so we could buy some dinner. I chose turkey croquettes, while Keeley bought some ready made pasta and a tin of tuna. The piece de resistance however, was the cheese platter we indulged in before dinner. Boursin, crackers and little ready prepared hors d’oeuvres and a bottle of red- the cheapest on the shelf d for €3.45 , which was nicer than most Australian reds.  Included in our purchases were some yoghurt and juice, a total of just over €20.

We ate our delicious dinner in the comfort of the dining room, and Keeley said she was happy to have a dinner like this every night in Paris, which is just as well as to venture out to dinner in this area would cost in excess of €100, even for an ordinary looking café. We had a quick game of bananagrams, as here we actually had a table to play on!

I was showered and in bed and sound asleep by 8pm. Apparently I didn’t even hear Keeley come in from her shower. And she was the one who had done all of the lugging of luggage!

Blissful Bath!

Up early- well earlyish- to catch the 10.03 train to Bath. It was a miserable rainy day and we got wet just walking to Elephant & Castle. Tubed it to Paddington for the connection to Bath. I knew we had to buy tickets instead of using the Oyster cards, but what I didn’t know was they would cost 69 pounds-EACH! I thought she said 38 pounds for 2, not 138 pounds! It wasn’t till we were on the train and I sorted out our tickets that I saw the awful truth! This day had better be worth it, I thought. I couldn’t believe it was SO much more expensive than a trip to Brighton. And no, it wasn’t first class! Heavens only knows what that would have cost!

After the shock of the cost, I determined to enjoy myself as much as I could so pointed out to Keeley the beautiful green countryside and the quaint little villages of houses with thatched roofs, all the while thinking we’re paying for the scenery! Amazingly as soon as we were out of London, the skies cleared to a beautiful sunny day! We arrived uneventfully in Bath and navigated our way to the old town centre, the site of the Roman Baths and the more modern Thermae Spa, where we were to spend the next 2 blissful hours- this is what we were here for. It was 27 pounds for entry not including towels (we had brought our own to save money!) We thought this was going to be the most expensive part of our day, not the train trip!

We changed into our togs, put all of our gear in a locker, and headed up to the rooftop pool which use the same thermal waters as the Romans did all those centuries ago, and stepped in. Warm and relaxing, but not as hot as I would have liked.

As I am wont to do, I started chatting to a couple (actually turned out to be brother and sister, Mark and Kim, from Falmouth and Bristol), who were treating themselves to a day out. She has two boys aged 14 and 12, so I suspect she needed it. You think I can talk? I couldn’t get a word in edgewise! But I did find out lots about her and her travels! I also found out she got a return trip to London for 12 pounds but she did book it 6 months out! Grrrrr!

We floated around for the next 2 hours, getting a great shoulder massage form the warm waterfall, then moving over to the side jets to get a back and butt massage, and lastly over to the bubbled area to just relax.

We decided to try out the steam room downstairs. There were 4, each with a different fragranced steam if you can believe it. Lotus flower, jasmine, eucalyptus and mint, but we chose the lemongrass and ginger! What the spa lacked in heat, the steam room made up for it. After cooking for a while, and sweating out all of our toxins (I think that’s what’s supposed to happen anyway), we’d had enough and went back up to the rooftop spa pool for another soak and to use up the rest of our two hours even though we were both starving!

I thought I’d better take Keeley to look at the Roman Baths since we actually in Bath and had spent so much to get here, although all I wanted to do was sleep! We found the Pump Room, which looked very posh and very expensive, but we thought what the hell? It couldn’t be more than the train trip! And we were starving! We were ushered to a table where we were surprised to find lunch was still available (it was 2.20pm and lunch was served till 2.30pm) and there was a 3-course lunch deal for 20 pounds! Haddock fish cake topped with poached egg for entrée, poached chicken breast with vegetables for mains, and of course vanilla panna cotta for dessert. (see Keeley’s photos of Bath!)

We made our way back to the station calling in to a games shop on the way. I found a game called Tension, which looked like fun, but was heavy and 25 pounds, so it stayed on the shelf.

There was a train 8 minutes earlier than ours going to Waterloo, so we thought we’d catch this one as it was only one tube stop to Kennington. Little did we know that this was the slowest train in the history of the world! Instead of an hour and a half, it took three hours! We both fell asleep!

We had to get back to our airbnb, dry our clothes as best as we could, have dinner, wash our hair and pack ready for our flight to Paris tomorrow! After the extravagances of the day, we shared a soup I’d bought at the supermarket earlier in the week, with fresh bread rolls, and berries and Cornish Clotted Cream Icecream, in total less than 10 pounds! I calculated how much the day had cost us in Aussie dollars! OMG, more than a week’s wages! I’m going to have to work like a navvy to pay this off!

On your bike!

With more than a little trepidation, I decided to join Keeley on a bike tour of London. Angela had recommended Big Fat Tyre Tours to Keeley, so we thought we'd give it a go. It couldn't be worse than walking, or could it? I haven't ridden a bike for years- well apart from the stationary ones at gym- so I didn't know how I'd go.

We met up with our tour guide, an Aussie guy from Sydney, just outside Queensway Tube Station, and I was encouraged that many of the group were about my age. I can do this! We walked down to the bike garage and each of us chose a bike.  I chose a lovely silver one, but was totally embarrassed to find that I had great difficulty tin getting my foot over the bar. ( No, it wasn't a boy's bike!) It's at times like these that you realise how much mobility you've lost without even noticing.

I had to put the pretty silver bike back and drag an ugly orange thing with a lower bar out of the garage. As luck would have it, it turned out to be the most comfortable bike of the lot as it had a very wide comfortable seat and I managed the whole four and a half hour tour without any butt bruising.

Off we rode into Kensington Gardens, stopped to take a peek at Kensington Palace, Princess Diana's home which was nothing special from the outside, and then right through Hyde Park to Apsley Gate. We had to dismount to cross the road to Green Park with monuments celebrating English victories in historical battles, as well as those from more modern times, and then on to St James' Park. Riding through the parks was fantastic, and being a Sunday many of the roads we rode on were closed to traffic too. We saw Buckingham Palace, St James Palace, Clarence House, Westminster Abbey, Big Ben, The Houses of Parliament, the Churchill War Rooms, Trafalgar Square and Nelson's Column, National Art Gallery, st Martins-in-the-Field  and heard some interesting stories about each.

Keeley and I lunched at The Chandos (see photos) and enjoyed a pint as well. Of course, we were the last ones to join our group after lunch. The only slightly terrifying part of the day was riding on the road (with traffic) from St James' Park to Westminster Abbey. The funniest part of the day was Keeley making fun of me using the bike like a scooter and somehow losing her footing on the pedals and coming off her bike just as we were crossing at the lights- not a good place to come off your bike. She regained her composure and continued laughing, but at herself this time. That was karma!

We had a wonderful day together, and the "negative nelly" at the end of the day was Keeley and her bruised bum! She's still whingeing today! :-) Amazingly, I was not sore anywhere, so thought we'd finish the day with a ride on the London Eye. It was full daylight when we descended the tube at Queensway and pitch black when we emerged at Waterloo. We managed to find the Eye ( how could you miss it, you ask?), bought tickets and lined up. Luckily we only had about 30 seconds to wait before the next capsule was ready for boarding.

I'm getting really brave in my old age, and not so nervous about things going up in the air, as long as no one rocks the boat so to speak. The lights of London were never-ending, stretching for miles and miles,and there was even a fireworks display just for us as we reached the topmost point. Keeley refused to take a photo -"who hasn't seen fireworks before?" but everyone else did. Beneath us were the Christmas markets, very prettily lit with millions of fairy lights.

We skipped dinner at the nearest cafe ( fish and chips were £12!), hopped on the tube to Kennington - just one station away, but boy, am I glad we didn't walk! We thought we'd grab a bite to eat at the pub on the way home. The "pub" turned out to be an Asian restaurant, but beggars can't be choosers. Keeley's not fond of Asian food, but I love it. Keeley ordered vegetable tempura and fried rice, and I chose the scallops and prawns in sake washed down with a glass of vino. Delicious! (see photo) And so to bed. Asleep by 8!

These boots WEREN'T made for walking...

and neither were these FEET! Nevertheless, failing hiring a wheelchair, they have to transport me around for the next 10 weeks!

First things first. BREAKFAST! I hadn't eaten since 10am on Friday and it's now Saturday 8am. 22 hours without food must be some sort of record. The Corner Cafe was recommended for breakfast, so we made our way there through the very pretty backstreets covered with autumn leaves moist with dew. (see Keeley's photo)

Breakfast cafes must be an English icon as this one was identical to the Whitton Cafe, which Ross and I frequented last trip to London. Same chairs, same menu, same prices and same friendly service. I opted for set menu 1 (see photo) which was just what I needed, while Keeley ordered the veggie option which was huge, but we both ate the lot and wiped our plates clean with fresh bread! The coffee was divine- first coffee I've had since leaving Australia.

As we left the cafe, it started raining softly. I had brought my umbrella but Keeley hadn't brought hers. To escape the rain, we jumped on the first bus that came along, not caring where it took us. We crossed the river and hopped off in Regent Street. I knew Selfridge's was close-by, but do you think I could find it? Keeley did find H&M though, and I bought her a beautiful jacket and a mickey mouse sloppy joe for her birthday.

We popped into Swarovski to drool over the bracelets. They had a limited edition set for £99, and I wanted to know how many and what colours they were. There was a lineup at the counter so thought I'd help myself to the free champagne while I was waiting. They also had delicious looking cupcakes which I resisted as were we meeting Joe and Angela and Eli at the Blueprint Cafe for lunch, which is where we were headed. I only knew it had a view of Tower Bridge and was on the river. So the plan was we find our way to the river and then walk downstream till we found it. It couldn't be too far... famous last words...we walked more than 8 km and were 40 minutes late for lunch. As well as the distance, we had to fight against the mob walking the opposite way, so there was a lot of dodging, as well as barging. (Keeley had Eli's presents in the Thai bag which kept hitting people as she weaved her way through the seething mass) I didn't realise how much Keeley hates crowds and crowded places. I'm not fond of them myself, but hers is a real phobia. She would rather walk up 111 steps than to get into a crowded lift!

We finally made it thoroughly exhausted and dying of thirst. I didn't even introduce anyone- I just collapsed in a chair crying, "Water! Water!" After a few minutes, I regained my composure enough to speak like a human being. Joe and Angela had chosen well. The Blueprint had marvellous views of the Tower Bridge (see photos) and delicious food as well (see photos)- the Market Lunch was a 3 course menu with plenty of options for £20. We also ordered a bottle of Spanish rose to celebrate Keeley's birthday.

After lunch, I gave Eli his birthday present, and he gave me a beautiful thank-you hug in return. He's such a delight. I don't think Corduroy will last too long as Eli started chewing his fur immediately. Hopefully the books will last longer! We all dawdled back to London Bridge Station where we left them to catch the tube home to Elephant and Castle-only 2 stations thankfully, stopping off at the Tesco to buy supplies for breakfast ( the Corner Cafe doesn't open on Sundays!) and some Cornish Clotted Icecream- my favourite! By the time we arrived home, I was too tired to eat, but did manage to down a Smirnoff Ice before crashing. Keeley said this morning I was trying to convert miles into kilometres and fell asleep in the middle of the calculation!

The journey begins...

Finally I'm off! Ross came to take me to the airport hours earlier than necessary, but with all the talk of the G20 security checks, I thought I'd rather be early than late, but 4 hours! I managed to check my suitcase all the way through to Heathrow which was a huge relief. It also weighed much heavier than it did at home. As soon as I found out how heavy it was, I couldn't lift it anymore.

We both went through security, found a seat and had some lunch- a delicious chicken wrap and a purple juice which tasted like mango- then made our way to the gate. It seemed strange to say goodbye to Ross at the gate, as last trip we both walked through.

The flight to Melbourne was uneventful- I watched "Wish I Was Here", ate dinner and had a glass of bubbly. I wish I could write "my trip to London was uneventful". On arrival at Melbourne Domestic, I just followed the signs to international- well I tried to follow the signs, but they took me round in circles, so I eventually asked a cleaning lady how to get there. She showed me an alley down beside a chemist that led straight through, but of course there were no signs anywhere- the signs pointed outside. I think this shopping alley access between terminals must be new.

Once I located the correct gate, we boarded very soon after. I thought the seat I had chosen ( and paid $180 for) would be brilliant. It was on the upper deck of an A 380! There was plenty of leg room, but it was in the middle of the plane. I had a young uncommunicative English couple next to me, so I just tried to sleep but the rocking and rolling of the plane made sleep impossible. I finally asked the hostess was it any smoother downstairs, which it was, so asked could I go down there to try to sleep. I descended the spiral staircase and looked through the darkened cabin. I couldn't see a single person! As I walked along the aisle, I realised every single passenger was stretched out on the seats sound asleep. some had 3 seats to themselves, others had 4! The only empty seats were the exit row ones right at the front of the plane where you can't left the armrests to sleep, so I sat down in the middle one and turned on the screen. I couldn't find anything that I wanted to watch so ended up watching 20 episodes of "Friends"- season 7 which I thought might put me to sleep. Good plan, but totally unsuccessful!

On arrival in Dubai, we all had to go into the terminal, go through security and go back to the same gate for re-boarding. This is where the "fun" really started. I found the gate again, and sat down to try to get wifi so I could contact Keeley in Seoul. We only had an hour and a half here, so it wasn't worth looking at the shops or anything. The waiting area was full, I kept hearing QF 9 boarding from gate 15 but no one was moving, so I thought the guys on the gate were about to get ready to open it for boarding. Finally I got up to ask when were they going to start boarding, and showed them my boarding pass. "That one's gone!" OMG PANIC! "If you run you might be able to catch it." RUN! for miles it seemed, and by this stage, crying. They had pulled back the top airbridge and I jumped onto the plane on the bottom one just before they shut the doors. I hadn't heard my name called or anything! By this stage, I was red in the face and puffing and crying as I pushed my way down the aisle right to the back of the plane and collapsed into the back seat. I didn't even try to get up the stairs to my allocated seat.

We were served a meal- I am to the stage I don't know whether it's breakfast, lunch or dinner- and I stretched out across the four seats to sleep. Sheer bliss! Six and a half hours to London and I'm planning to sleep. My left leg had started to swell up, so it was lovely to get it off the floor. Unfortunately, I only slept for a little over half an hour, but I remained stretched out, watching people as they walked past to the toilet. There were only 12 passengers in 80 seats- so nice to have an almost empty aircraft!  And miraculously, the swelling in my left leg disappeared so I was very happy. I couldn't really see the screen from my prone position so listened to Keith Urban through the headphones. Our last meal was a chicken wrap and a cup of tea, so I sat up to watch something. I tried "Her" but just couldn't get into it, then watched "Blended" which I've seen at the movies. While searching for a TV show, I found "A Game of Thrones" just as we were descending into Heathrow!

Another beauty of an empty plane arriving in the middle of the day was I walked straight through immigration- not a queue in sight- and straight through to baggage collection, and straight out the exit with nothing to declare- not a single customs officer in sight- and followed the signs to the Underground station and hopped straight on "the Tube" to Kings Cross. I kept nodding off, but managed to wake up at Russell Square to get myself ready to jump off. I use the word 'jump' loosely- I was so tired, I just about fell off the train!

I managed to follow the signs to Northern Line, and was disappointed to find that there was no escalator down to the platform- this was supposed to be a step-free station. There's probably a lift, but I didn't see one, but a good Samaritan carried it down and consequently missed his train by seconds. I felt bad, but there was another one 3 minutes later. I stood up as I didn't think it was very far to Elephant and Castle (it doesn't look far on the map!) but it was about 12 stations, I swear.

Fortunately there was a lift at E&C, as the alternative was 111 stairs, so I pressed the button and waited for it to appear. At street level now, all I had to do was scan my Oyster card off and exit, but unfortunately the gate I chose wouldn't open. I scanned again and it scanned me on! OMG I need help! I finally found a railway man around the corner who let me though a gate, and told me to go to the counter where I got my card fixed up. The whole trip from Heathrow to E&C had cost £3! So far, so good.

All I had to do was find Kennington Lane and walk the 600 metres to our airbnb accommodation. Well, 2 and a quarter hours later, I arrived to find that William had given up on me and taken his two pugs, Milly and Wally out for a walk. What happened in that 2 and a quarter hours? Well, I walked along London Road, Waterloo Road, Kennington Road and Kennington Lane ( actually way past our accommodation) and finally found a taxi stopped at a petrol station, and asked him to take me to Heralds Place. I had officially given up! I lifted my suitcase ( you were right Stacey) into the back of the cab and hopped in to see a paper sign taped over the Visa sign saying "cash only".  I explained that I had just arrived from Australia and didn't have any English cash and he took pity on me and drove me right to the door for free! I almost kissed him! I had walked miles past where I was supposed to be!

By the way, I had asked at least half a dozen people where Kennington Lane was and was given several bum steers. In hindsight, I'm thinking they may have thought I was French. That bloody colourful Parisian suitcase. I'm already regretting not bringing my Jeep which is so easy to push with just two fingers. This bloody monstrosity has given me RSI in my right wrist! The wheels are definitely not paved-footpath friendly!

Well it's now 4.30am. I've been awake since 2 and I'm aching all over. I'm still trying to be positive though. It's really ironic that here I was worrying about Keeley coping with being on her own in Korea and getting to our accommodation in London, and she did it all effortlessly without a single drama and with no help from me at all. I was the one who didn't cope. Maybe this is why she didn't want me to travel on my own in the first place?

4 more sleeps!

Well, I'm doing it again! On Thursday 13th November, I'm outta here! I'm packed- have been for months- and am almost ready to go. Just finished the itinerary (a job that's taken the best part of a year!) and am relatively happy with it. Disappointed I'm going to miss out on Kefalonia. I just couldn't get flights to coordinate so have ended up having to stay in Athens for 3 days. Not a problem as I love Athens, and am looking forward to being a frequent diner at Diados, which we only discovered on our last night last trip three years ago.

I have eleven last minute things to do, but I have them all on my reminders on my iPhone which I only just found out about. Thanks, Stacey! That's saving me many sleepless nights worrying about forgetting something. So I'm organised. What about my travelling companion, Keeley? She hasn't found her backpack yet! Talk about opposites...