We
were unsure if it’s polite to have a picnic in a cemetery, but we didn’t sit on
any graves, although it was tempting. Those stone steps were not comfortable at
all. We were smiled upon and frowned upon, so that didn’t enlighten us on
cemetery protocol. One woman death-stared Keeley, who told me quite innocently,
then realized how funny it was. Then we got the giggles- you can’t take us
anywhere!
We
climbed up, up, up, till we (should I say I) could climb no more, and we gave
up on finding any tombs of note. I wanted to see Oscar Wilde’s tomb but he was
miles away! Sorry, Oscar! A kind Facebook friend has posted photos of the
graves I wanted to see. Thanks, Vivienne.
My
poor toes were protesting so we headed back home. And of course, we became
lost. Don’t ask me how! It was two blocks for heaven’s sake! I think we were
too busy talking and missed our turn. After walking for what seemed like hours,
(Keeley assured me was only minutes), I yelled at her to show me the map on her
phone, as I didn’t trust her navigation skills. I probably wouldn’t have yelled
if my feet weren’t in so much pain. I didn’t want to walk one inch further than
necessary. She stalked off not speaking to me the rest of the way back to our airbnb.
(about half an hour, but in reality about 2 minutes) She was really upset I had
yelled at her. It shows you how often she’s yelled at that she had such an
extreme reaction. Poor Keeley! When we arrived home, she climbed out through
our window onto the roof to drink the rest of the beer. She obviously didn’t
want to have anything to do with me. It’s my fault she hates confrontation. She
did say at some stage that she wished she had let the bus hit me, but she
didn’t mean it. (I hope!) I forgot to
mention that I was almost run over by a bus on the way up to the Cemetery. I am
pedantic about only crossing when the light turns green, even though everyone
else walks when it’s still red, and yet I managed to step out in front of a bus
and was pulled back onto the footpath by Keeley. What can I say? I just didn’t
see it, or it didn’t register in my brain, or I have a death wish? I have no
idea.
Anyway,
I couldn’t walk another step so called the Fat Tire Bike Tours to postpone
until tomorrow night. I heated up my moussaka for dinner and opened the bottle
of red wine that had been waiting for us. Sabine from Bremen joined us for a
glass, and we chatted in English. She speaks German, French, English and
Spanish and was just in Paris for the weekend. She often comes down just for
the weekend! I was complaining about the cost of restaurants in Paris. She
advised to always make lunch your main meal. You can usually find a 3 course
menu for about €20.
I
was really tired, so had a shower, climbed into bed, and was asleep within
seconds and didn’t wake up until 6.30am! I had terrible dreams though.
The
plan today was not to do too much before our bike tour tonight. So I was going
to find the nearest laundromat to do our washing. I asked Maguy which was
nearest and she offered to do it all for us! No problem, she said. All part of
the service! I felt so bad I thought I’d better make good use of the day and go
out to see the sights of Paris.
First,
we headed to l’Arc de Triomphe with the plan of climbing to the top. We hopped
out of the metro, and found a little café to use the toilet. I’m not sure if
Paris is like Rome, but thought we’d better buy a coffee. Of course, it was
expensive, but probably the best €4.50
I’d
ever spent! We walked around the perimeter trying to find a crossing. There was
no way we were going to walk across all that traffic! Of course, there was no
crossing- we had walked right past the subway. In our defence, the sign was completely
obliterated by stickers and graffiti. Some Parisians must have fun watching
people like us walk round and round!
We
finally reached it by which time I needed to go to the toilet again- the catch
22 of going to a coffee shop to use the toilet and buying a coffee at the same
time! We saw the lineup to buy tickets and decided we’d give the top a miss,
and just take some photos on the ground. We made our way back to the same café
(a feat in itself given our navigational skills) and used their toilets again-without
buying another coffee! Keeley wanted to see Notre Dame so we hopped on the
metro and headed there.
On
the way, I saw that the metro stopped at Le Marais (Saint-Paul). I had heard so
much about Le Marais, I decided to check it out. There was a great variety of
shops there, with some gorgeous Christmas stuff, all of which we managed to
resist buying. We found a café with 3 courses for €21, so thought we’d try it since we weren’t
going to have dinner before our bike tour.
It was disappointing to say the least. The turkey foie gras was straight
out of the turkey, the steak and chips were just that; the chips were
overcooked and the steak was tough, and they had run out of tiramisu (my first
choice) and raspberry tarts (my second) so I had to settle for chocolate cake
which I gave to Keeley. I ordered a red wine and Keeley ordered a French beer.
The wine was ok for €2.50, but she didn’t
like the beer and it cost €8.50! Not what I
would call a really cheap lunch: €46!
Back
on the metro to Notre Dame. Her app said to get of at Saint-Mande which we did.
We saw a sign to the Les Jardins Zoologique,( the zoo), but no signs to Notre
Dame. I carefully mentioned to Keeley I would check my map before I walked any
further- I didn’t want a repeat of yesterday- and it turned out her app had
given her the wrong Notre Dame! I suppose there must be dozens of them since it
actually means Our Lady!
Back
on the metro to Dupleix, where our bike tour was to start. We were a couple of
hours early, but thought we’d sit down in the Bistro opposite the station and
wait. It was happy hour so we ordered Mojitos for €6, the only cocktail that was included in happy hour. At
5.45pm, we wandered out and found our tour guide, Carlos, who had just set up
on the corner. We thought we’d be first but everyone arrived together. We
walked up to the office and chose our bikes. Keeley chose Chandler Bing (the
funny one- quite apt) and I wound up with Ayrton Senna. Half way through the
tour and after hitting the gutter and crashing into a drainpipe, I explained to
Keeley that Ayrton Senna was a champion racecar driver who died in a car crash.
Of course, she could not stop laughing.
You
know how much I enjoyed the bike tour in London? This was the tour from
HELL! No nice quiet bike rides through parks
and along the bike paths bordering the Seine here, no this was STAY AS A GROUP
AND DOMINATE! (the traffic) Yes we rode in front of traffic, buses, cars,
motorbikes, the lot! To say I was terrified would be an understatement. Did I
see any of the wonderful Parisian landmarks? Did I hear any of the fascinating
history? Of course not! I was so far behind, so scared and so exhausted I
didn’t give a rat’s arse about Parisian history!
Keeley
offered to be co-captain of the group- her job was to stay last and keep the
group together- basically her job was to look after me. They did give her a
T-shirt as a thank-you for doing it. She kept saying, “calm and assertive”,
something she’s learned from dog-training. I was anything but!
In
a twist of fate, she was the one who had the worst accident. In her effort to
look after me, she didn’t look after herself and was rammed by a Parisian
cyclist in the middle of a busy road. He was all dressed in black with no
lights- I didn’t even see him at all- only heard her scream and his abuse at
her in French, and her saying ”sorry, sorry”. He was the one in the wrong- she
had lights and an orange hi-vis vest on and was at the end of the entire group
dressed in hi-vis vests! It really put the wind up her, and I think she lost a
little of her bravado. There were no more “calm and assertives”.
The
next accident was my riding into a bus: this was definitely the bus I avoided
yesterday! Luckily the bus was stationary and the only damage I sustained was
to my elbow. I was riding past a stationary bus when another bus overtook me. I
was squeezed between two buses. Best to hit the stationary one I figured!
Keeley was behind me and thought I’d lose my balance when I hit the bus and
fall under the moving bus. She thinks I must be a pretty good bike rider to
avoid that happening. (I did have years of experience as a teenager riding my
bike to and from school every day as well as riding to the shop on errands for
Mum, and basically riding anywhere I wanted to go. It was my only means of
transport.) She was so worried about my falling under the bus that she laughed until
she cried. She thinks laughing is her coping mechanism. I think crying is mine!
FINALLY,
we get to the boat cruise on the Seine. The part I was looking forward to most.
Even a couple of glasses of red wine didn’t cheer me up. All I wanted to do was
go home to bed. I just stiffened up on the cruise, so much so that I couldn’t
even get on the bike without someone holding it for me. My knees were
knackered. We rode to the Eiffel Tower and saw the light display at 10pm before
heading back to the office. I’ve never been so pleased to see anything in my
entire life. The tour guide hugged me- it was his last night before heading
back to the States- I think he was happy I survived- he probably has a spotless
record- and gave Keeley her T-shirt. Good job!
We
trudged back to Dupleix and caught one metro to Nation, then another home to
Charonne. In bed by 11 and didn’t wake up till 9am. Keeley is off on the day tour, which is
probably the one I should have done. It has a difficulty rating of 2; the night
tour is 5! I wish I’d known that before last night. I hope my legs recover
before Lake Como! I rode 13 kilometres last night with only two collisions, and
a few near misses with pedestrians. In hindsight, I’m quite proud. The other
riders were all in their twenties, and are probably all up and exploring Paris
this morning. I am going to get up soon and try to walk to the shower down the
hall!
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